I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
