Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
