question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
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