therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Randomize
