You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Me too!
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Randomize