He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
