U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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