The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
