He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
