just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
