chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
