also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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