i may or may not be watching the land before time
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Randomize