dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Randomize