Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
