His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
