you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
