hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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