Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
Randomize
