just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Randomize
