My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
Randomize
