let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
