i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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