last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
