I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
