You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
