Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
