The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize