Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
