the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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