p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize