I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Alive.
So much puke
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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