THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
