i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
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