erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
