I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
