Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
high people should be assigned attendants
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
