If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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