Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
im calling her cock vulture from now on
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
