he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
