i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Randomize
