My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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