Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
nutella sex= disaster
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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