one two three fourrrrnication!
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
