He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
two words: eviction party
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
