I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Randomize
