I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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