i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
