So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
