Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Randomize
