So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
