I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
