He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
