went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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