good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
