HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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