Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
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