She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
