all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
