"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
I wish you could order shots online.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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