she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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