Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
I had a moment while I was smoking where I was looking at these palm trees and I knew how dr Seuss came up with his characters.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
