i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
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