I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
