It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
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